Eating take out by myself

"Some other dive a thousand miles away I played a thousand times before"

I am still really tired from the trip to Dickinson, but it was definately a good time. It was great to see Laura for two days straight, we don't get too much time together on consecutive days. The driving though wore me out, all that traffic and construction. Today, I just want to do something very calm like watching a movie or possibly just sitting down with a few friends to talk and play games or some other boring shit like that.

So Weezer also has a new album coming out, in May. It is called Make Believe, a very interesting title...don't quite know how to anticipate this album. They usually put out great stuff, but Maladroit kinda sucked and now it has been a really long hiatus for the band, don't know how there sound will be. I am hoping it is good and of course I will be buying it, along with the Ben Folds album in May. Probably the only two cd's I buy all year.

I have tons of spanish homework to do but you know what, it's not getting done today. Espanol can suck my ass.

It feels kinda strange to be writing in this thing at 12 in the afternoon, usually I am doing this shit at around 2 or 3 in the morning when I don't even care what I put in, just as long as it get's in. That can be very good...or very bad, depending on what I let slip out. I will admit it, I have considered writing things in here that should not be read by anyone I know...but I always seem to supress those words for another day, which is a damn good thing. I guess that is what a private journal is for, letting all the shit that could get you in hot water out.

Song Of The Day: Ben Folds- Kalamazoo

Turned my whole world upside down

"If you see me there, I'll try not to care, leave me as I am, battered bruised and torn"

My brother is playing a live version of Layla right now that rocks so freaking hard, I have been rocking out to it for quite a while now. Now he is playing Boston, it's a freaking classic rock concert put on by Matt Keefe and I am enjoying every minute. My brother developed taste is semi modern music, it is a revelation. hehe.

Well, still home and still bored although tommorrow I am heading out to Dickinson to see Laura and spend the night, which will be a fun time. I hope the weather holds out on Friday, I don't want to drive in shit if at all possible...even if I have a jeep.

Well, I have nothing else to say really...I am just trying to kill some time with this thing. I hope you enjoyed this pointless entry as much as I did.

Song Of The Day: The Kinks- Lola

Life isn't simple

"Help me out, yeah, you know you gotta help me out, no don't you put me on the backburner"

Yeah, that is a nice little shot there.

Anyways, I am home for spring break and while I guess it is pretty nice I miss the constructive tension that TCNJ gives me. I can't just sit and around and do nothing anymore, my mind is constantly in overdrive. Yes this is strange and yes I should just relax, but I can't. Last night I stayed up until 3 AM for no reason whatsoever, I just couldn't bring myself to go to sleep. I had deja vu from about 4-5 years ago, when I would do the same thing over the summer. Stay up for no reason flipping through TV or reading a book, I just didn't want to have to deal with sleep. I was hit with such a random sadness that it floored me for about an hour...I just didn't even know how to react. What a strange feeling and night.

Well, I think I'm gonna wrap this up before I let any other personal shit slip out that people shouldn't see. Catch you guys later.

Song Of The Day: Satan is my master- Ben Folds Five

PEOPLE READ THIS FUCKING THING?!?

"I twisted it wrong just to make it right, had to leave myself behind"

Wow, so people actually read my little craptacular journal out of boredom. I mean, I do the same thing: check away messages, check blogs, check infos, click any links in the info, visit random usless sites. I just didn't think people took the time to read my little wasteland of the internet, a random jumbling of thoughts and very vague personal outlooks that likes to pretend it is a journal. Well, now that I know people read it I guess there is only one thing to do...I'm not gonna change a thing about it. Hell, I'm not gonna change the shit I say because people read it...if anything, I'm going to have to say more now instead of my half ass posting peanut comics entries. Well, now onto more important matters.

What would be a posting without a little Ben Folds news, eh? Here is something from the website:

* March 8 -- Ben's cover of the Dr. Dre Classic, "Bitches Ain't Shit" will be available to download from iTunes. You'll be able to check out Ben's brand of Chronic-era Dre on this new non-album track.

* March 22 --"Landed" 7" single arrives in your favorite record stores!

Also On March 22 -- The special expanded edition of Ben Folds Five's Whatever And Ever Amen remastered with new liner notes from all the original band members and 7 bonus tracks:Video Killed The Radio Star (studio version, previously unreleased), For All The Pretty People, Mitchell Lane, Theme from "Dr. Pyser" (studio version), Air, She Don't Use Jelly, Song For The Dumped (Japanese version).

And the album you've been waiting for...April 26 -- Ben's new studio album, Songs For Silverman will be released in three formats and packages:

- 180 Gram Heavy Double Vinyl

- DualDisc: Stereo CD on one side, DVD on the other side including 5.1 Surround Sound mix & 25-minute behind-the-scenes feature

- Deluxe Edition: Featuring 40-page booklet and 40-minute DVD The Making of Songs for Silverman including live performances, exclusive interviews, and behind-the-scenes footage.

Now that is some good frickin news right there.

Anyways, a bunch of people( and I really do mean a bunch) went to CSD last night and I must say it was really interesting to see how people reacted to such a huge group. Some seemed lost, others relishing it and others just seemed pissed off(*cough* Stiffy *cough*) I thought it was a fun night though, it was good to see everyone even if I didn't even talk to about 10 of you guys. That is the only problem with large groups, it is incredibly hard to zero in on a real conversation when about 4 other people are trying to talk to you. I especially had trouble trying to shout things across three tables worth of people to get one persons attention. Still, being part of a snausage and hot dog/jesus sandwich wasn't too bad, it was better than the snausage- stiffy sandwich...so many things wrong with that statement. To conclude this pointless paragraph, it was fun seeing you all and we will have to rock it over the summer any chance we can.

I am really getting into this book Blink, I think everyone should really check it out. It is about using your subconcious to your advantage without having to sacrifice your ability to think things out. We as a culture have a stigma that the best decisions are those that are made over long periods of time with a lot of thinking involved, and sometimes that may be true. We can though, make decisions in the blink of an eye that are just as good if not better. Just because something comes to you quickly does not mean that it is irrational, it just means that you have figured it out without even thinking. You can't always explain why you feel the way you do, but you just know. That is your subconcious screaming, "TRUST ME YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE RIGHT ANSWER." You may not always be able to know why it is right, you can just feel it. We place too much emphasis on re-examining things over and over until we confuse ourselves, just feel what you feel and leave it at that. The most basic way to make a decision is through gut feeling, not exactly emotion, but gut feel. You should not always follow this process though, each matter deserves it's own way to deal shit out. Sometimes you do have to think about things to truly form a decision, sometimes you don't. I am just learning now which needs which, but it is a very difficult thing to do...and I don't think I will ever really know the answer. I just know that my gut is the best brain I have from time to time, so I follow it. Try not to think things through too much, we are much too young to develop ulcers over matters that really don't deserve our attention.

Sorry bout that, kinda slipped out when I was typing, kinda got preachy there for a sec. hehe. Don't listen to my innane ramblings completely, just try to get what you can and get the hell out while you still can.

Ok, I'm out. Later

Song Of The Day: Ben Folds- Bitches Ain't Shit