Oh What Can I Do

"In the light I am living and I can feel the power rushing through my veins"

Whoa boy...I kinda neglected this over the summer in a really bad way. For some reason I felt absolutely no need to write in it while away from school, like my life just paused and I fell into limbo. It is strange though that the summer never really felt that eventful at all, it felt like a missed chance for something that I cannot place my finger on. This is not to say though that the summer was a complete waste of time, far from it in fact. It was incredibly nice to become closer to friends that for a long time I had kept at an arms distance unintentionally. It seemed like we all kind of hit the same page all at once and it all just clicked while conversely I fell out of step with certain people. There was no malice intended and oddly enough the drifting was natural, something that really cannot be controlled sometimes. It is when you force friendship that you know you are in trouble, it is something that really has to come naturally.
Speaking of coming naturally, I also found out this summer that caring for hormone driven, just entering puberty, hunterdon county pre-teens really is not my true life calling. In fact, this job just about swore me off of having children...ever. Ok, so maybe that was a little drastic...let's just say that my patience wore thin quickly with this group of kids. This is a startling fact in its own right seeing as I have almost unlimited patience for almost any situation, which is both a blessing and a curse. These kids basically drove me fucking insane almost everyday I was with them but somehow I still enjoyed the job. You may be saying to yourself, if you didn't like the kids then why did you enjoy your job? It is really quite simple:
1.My Co-Workers
2.The 5-6 kids that really made the job worth it
My co-workers were absolutely hilarious people that were nothing but kind to me and to (most) of the children. I thought we worked well together even if I wasn't the most vocal co-worker (fuck you shyness, by the way) and I would be happy to consider any one of them a friend. It is unfortunate that we only had a few times to hang out outside of work but when we did get that chance it was always a good time. The other reason I was able to stay sane and dare I say it content at work was the small minority of kids who made my day an absolute blast. These few kids were funny, kind, able to listen and always said courteous things. One in particular was absolutely amazing as she had no money to come to camp but was sponsored by a local family to attend. This girl was thankful for absolutely everything we did and the sense of wonder, contentment and excitement she showed on every trip absolutely warmed my heart. This kid was simply the most enjoyable child I have ever dealt with because she truly appreciated what she was being given and savored every moment.
So that brings me to the start of the school year(yes yes, I skipped my vacation in Canada but it really wasn't that eventful anyways. Here let me break it down: 8 read books, sitting on the beach, riding a bike, walking, gambling crazy amounts of canadian money, father driving me nuts,Montreal, fire and mother fucking UNO craziness)which I sure as hell hope is better than last year. To put it bluntly last year sucked so damn much I refuse to have another like it ever again. The reasons are so plentiful for the absolute horror but to explain them all would take up both mine and your time, which I do not want to do. So instead I will just say that I will just trying to be living this year on hope, luck and faith. Not traditional faith mind you (no offense God) but faith in the fact that if you work hard enough and do good things...you will get your fair due. Faith in karma you may call it. Let's face it, it is the only faith I can really provide.

Song Of The Day: Israel Kamakawiwo'ole- Somewhere Over The Rainbow