What a very very weird day, it just wouldn't end. I did so much today, and it was almost all very weird and painful. First, I am getting glasses. Yup, apparently I am near sighted and need slight corrective lenses to fix it........it sucks. I just don't think I will look good at all in glasses and will probably end up breaking them the first day. I only need them driving and in class though, so that is a very big relief. Second, my hockey game was today......and we got crushed. Now, skill wise the team we faced were horrible, they were just so freaking huge compared to my team that they just ran us over. I was obviosuly a very marked man in this game, I was hit everytime I had the puck. I was slashed, hit, hooked, elbowed and just plain got the shit kicked out of me continuously. I am a small person, so it is not that hard at all to take me out, and believe me they did. I think the worst was the slapshot to the face though, not the puck......the stick itself, right in my damn jaw......that hurt a little. It was just a weird day, which is ok......because it makes things interesting. Weird is not necessarily bad, although it can be, it's just very different. I think the oddest thing that happend today was my lack of social interaction, I stuck to myself almost the entire day. I just didn't feel like talking to anyone, I had nothing to say to anyone. I was just tired of idle talking with no substance, it just seemed like I needed to get something out but no one was there to say it to. It is truly impossible to express what the hell I feel on a daily basis, but I sure as hell want to try sometime. I never have successfully, and I just think the only way to truly know someone is to get inside there head and just accept that yeah, it is fucked up.......but so are you. To get into someones mind and soul is a very intesting thing.....because there is no crap there it is all honest. What people feel and what people do are different, maybe they shouldn't be.

Thought Of The Day: Glasses.
Song Of The Day: Who the hell knows.....

SAT score:1250.

Since I believe there is more to life than just tests and grades, I won't go into any more depth about that wretched test or if I am happy or unhappy with it.It's hard to think like that sometimes, that there is actually more to life than just trying to get good grades on everything and working so hard that you miss out on the real important things. It is ok to work hard to get good grades, it can be satisfying, but worrying about things that are out of your control is ridiculous. The simpler things in life can be more gratifying than any test or great grade you will ever get, like walking through the snow at night. Simple, but has the amazing effect of making you think about things you normally wouldn't.......it gives you a strange self satisfaction that you are alone, freezing, and happy. I have always believed that simple conversation is one of the most gratifying things in life, connecting with another person on a level that you have never even approached with other people is just amazing. You feel really good after a great conversation. Winter is my favorite time of year for a few reasons, the cold, the snow, but mostly for how winter smells. Yeah I know, winter doesn't have a "smell" per say.....but it is just great to breathe in and have the cold just envelop you, it can't be described but I'm sure you all know what I am talking about. All I'm saying out of this entire mess is that grades don't mean a damn thing at the end of the day, knowledge is only good if you can use it in your life, and just live your life outside of a grading system. The only person that should be grading your freaking life is yourself, because you and only you know how you are actually doing. You know if you hate a subject and you know if you actually understand what people are trying to say. I hate getting a report card for this reason, other people see letters on a piece of paper and assume they know how I am doing in each subject. That is shit, they don't know if I actually put any effort into some subjects or a huge amount of effort into another. They just see a letter that is supposed to symbolize my achievement, and judge me. Even if the report card is good, I freaking hate it. They make a big deal over some grades, good or bad, and you know what......I really couldn't care. I just do the stuff asked of me best I can, learn, and then move onto better things in life because believe me there are better things in life. Everyone judges, but judging by letter just seems like a crap move because no one could possibly see what you went through to get that letter, and how people who control your higher education see your stupid damn letters and see if they want you to come or not. There are simply more important things in life, and I suggest that people not get an ulcer in high school over it.......and just go outside and walk in the snow, relax, and think about life.

Thought Of The Day: Rangers continue to suck.
Song Of The Day: J.E.W- Your New Aesthetic

Same open wound just different people making it bleed.

Weak points, an open wound, some things just seem to break us up inside. If you don't know what I am talking about, let me explain. I truly believe that everyone has an achiles heel, a weak point in there life that when exploited can shake us up. It isn't exactly physical, although it could be, I'm talking more emotional. Some event just happend to hit you harder than it should have and you are sensitive to that area for the rest of your life. Everyone has one but few people know others weak points, for people are afraid of showing weakness. I think that sometimes, you need to show weakness to stay totally sane, but it usually isn't in front of others. No one is invincible, and things hurt. It is just normal that people cannot be completely devoid of hurt in their lives, but people can't express themselves. People bottle things up until they eat away to a point of total breakdown or outlash, because people are afraid of showing weakness. People are afraid of showing their achiles heel. Well here is what I have to say, fuck it.......show your weakness to others. It can only hurt yourself to keep it in, just let it all out and be surprised at the results. You never know, showing weakness is actually a very good way to show others that yeah.......you are human. I am surprised by how many people tend to keep the most important things to themselves and are afraid to express themselves. Fear is good, but it is just an instrument to fuel you. It is doubt that needs to be completely come over, something that needs to be conquered. Now, back to open wounds. Things just happen to hit harder than you like sometimes and that can affect you in everything you do. One event can be felt through your entire life if you cared that much about it, it can continue to hurt over time. There is no easy way to get over an open wound, and to this day I have no idea to get over some of mine......but life goes on. Life goes on weather you hurt or not, it just doesn't end the second you begin to feel bad. Take all that freaking pain, all that hurt that you feel and use it dammit. Use it to get across a message or to help someone else, just don't bottle it up. Believe it or not, there are other people who feel the same way that you do, and they can help. Express yourself any damn way you want, just don't bottle it all up. Open wounds can be closed and life can go on.

Thought Of The Day: SHABANG!
Song Of The Day: J.E.W- Lucky Denver Mint