Boredom does some strange things to people. I just sat in my room and arranged my records in alphabetical order....because of sheer boredom. I am now writing in my blog because I am bored....I actually have nothing relevent to say at all. Then again, do I ever have anything to say in this thing......usually not. I do hate one thing about being bored, and that is being forced to dwell on past events. I get bored....which eventually leads to me getting depressed, it is a very strange thing. I just feel that when I have nothing to do I am a very pathetic person, and question what the hell I am doing with my life. I don't know, I guess that is why I always have to be busy doing something.....I'd go insane if I didn't. I can't help but dwell on the past, it is just something that comes naturally. I believe most people are living in the past, not really living for the next moment or the next opportunity.....just basing the present on things that have happend in the past. People in groups always end up talking about the past, instead of talking about the future. It is crazy how much we base who we are on what we used to be, although in a way I think that makes sense. Your past is the only inidcator of the person you have become, you can't see yourself 20 years from now so you have to base self image on the past. Speaking of self image.....I have now proven that almost everyone I know has a horrible impression of themselves. It is insane how ultra critical we are of ourselves, we are our worst enemy time and time again. The things people don't realize is though, that others have nowhere near that critical an impression. I know that I can almost always see the good in people even if they can't see it in themselves....if they could only take a step back and see what others see, nothing would be the same. It can never happen though, people are destined to see themselves in an entirely different light as others see them.....good or bad. I also forgot to mention those who see themselves as superior to others in every way shape and form, those people should also take a step back and see how they are assholes. Either way, self perception is a tricky subject and one that can never be done the right way......people will always see themselves on a completely slanted view. Well, that staved off boredom for a while. Later.

Thought Of The Day: Mr. Peanut.....is god.
Song Of The Day: Thrice- Trust

I have just returned from the academic awards ceremony , and I have to say.......I really hate getting awards. I seriously hate to get recognized for stuff I do on a daily basis.....sure I try at the stuff I do but I don't need a plaque to tell me that, or to tell others that. I am happy enough just living day to day and not failing in school.....which is a very small portion of my life. School is right around the center of my priorities......between my fish and staring at my ceiling. I get a due date, I do the work.....but it isn't my passion at all. I don't believe that being tested on knowledge that we are forced to learn is exactly my idea of expressing ones self......so I don't think highly of it. Now newspaper.....that is a different story alltogether. I think I have picked a class that I truly love at North.....because it gives me a chance to write what I want, when I want. I am even going to be the editoral co- editor.....which is pretty cool. I have opinions.....as many people who read this ( all 2 of you) know, and I like to let my written word say things that I cannot express in vocal form. I think that I will like being able to have expressive freedom over a wide range of people for a change, I hope to just not screw it up. I only write well if I am passionate on a subject, so I am sure many things I do write will be garbage....but that is ok. If I can just get my point across to one or two people it will all be worth it. Wait.....what was I talking about before.....oh yeah....school, a bastion of knowledge people will forget it one or two weeks anyways. I believe sometimes that we as students are treated as a statisitc only.....every single assembly, class meeting or loud speaker announcement has to do with how we are blue ribbon.....every single one. Yes, we are a blue ribbon school...but do we need a sign on the building, emblems on our ID's, reminders everyday of it and signs in the hallways? We are blue ribbon.....but what about the students inside this fine blue ribbon establishment. The student body has the absolute worst school spirit I have ever seen, too many kids are spoiled brats who always get there way, many kids struggle but can't seem to ask for help, we think we are better than we are, too many students have such a narrow view of the world, we are overcrowded to a level that is ridiculous, the ID policy is now beginning to get out of hand, I can't even tell you how many drugs are in our school, the wrong after school activities are emphasized ( ok football team, nationally ranked fencing team....), and for god's sake......there is no more fucking shame left in this school. I am tired of it, and I am tired of the ignorent people that open minded, decent people have to deal with on a daily basis. I feel immense sympathy for many in this school who have had to deal with people hating just on the basis of social group, race, sex...god anything actually. I am tired of this shit....I am tired of seeing good people being shit on while the ignorent assholes succeed and get privilages. I am tired of the racial slurs I hear everyday. I am tired of seeing arrogance in every form at every level, and of the selfishness of people.....those who cannot even help another for one damn second out of there lives. The sad thing is.....I can't do a thing about it, so I guess all this bitching was in vain. I guess I just had to get it out there. Let's here it for North....A National Blue Ribbon School.

Song of The Day: Lawrence Arms- The First Eviction Notice
Thought Of The Day: Just let someone in.

The moment you realize you have innocense is the moment you lose it.