Saturday night.....but I still feel down.
Trying to remember every sound
That transpired,where it all went wrong
Every moment now feels so damn long
I have no troubles but I still feel pain
I think I might just be going insane


Well that sucked,but eh....best I can do on the fly. This weekend was actually pretty good,saw a couple of movies with people I usually don't go places with, haven't touched my homework yet, and got a couple of sweet new DVD's and CD's. Well with good there comes bad, but the problem is I don't know what bad is. I just feel down for absolutely no reason.....there is nothing to feel down about right now but I still feel like something totally wrong is transpiring. Don't ask me why, but it just happens. I'm sure everyone else has felt it too, just a deep sadness that comes over you at sometime.....usually when you are alone. They say it might be hormones....I say that's crap, emotions aren't just a bunch of chemical impulses....I think they are so much more. You can sometimes just feel something deep inside you that can't be explained by scientific reason, it just happens. I also notice though that people are getting sad more often than they are getting happy, is it just some teenage crap that we have to go through....maybe. I don't know, I see sometimes how people change so quickly, not just emotionally but physically too. Something inherently human drives us to either fit in or be completely different, I don't know if a middle ground can be accomplished. I don't know about you but I certainly do try to fit in even if it's really not the way I am, I've done it before....I'm doing it now....and I'll probably do it again pretty damn soon. I don't know if you've noticed but an underlying theme in everything I write is to be yourself no matter what,it sounds nice in theory but I don't think anyone could actually do it. I'm a straight out hypocrite if I tell you that I act the same around every person, I don't. I change personas around different people, and it sucks. You want to know what I am really like.....this is it. What I write is who I am,I don't bullshit people here....that is if anyone reads this. I may not be completely personal with details here....but this is what I am all about. I'm not some damn freckled kid,keefer,canadian,irish,dumbass,just some nice guy,and self centered ass.....I am me. I am Brian. Well....that got a little too personal....got a little carried away. Yeah,this is me though....and I'm going to try to be this as much as possible but it is hard sometimes. Being yourself get's to you, it is difficult to not be accepted in some places.I think I've said too much,I'm outta here.

Song of The Day: Mad World
Thought Of The Day:

Not that bad a day at all,it was actually quite good. Band was even ok,i mean we are playing mission impossible this friday.....that song is awesome! One more day to go and I have a glorious 4 day weekend.....thank god. I think i might have done less than ok on an English test,but one out of 5 isn't too bad.....it's not going to totally destroy my grade or anything. I don't know why but I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I think I've finally just loosened up more than usual,bout damn time too. I'm off to eat spagetti,i'm out.

Song of The Day: Metallica- Fade To Black
Thought Of The Day: I can deal with this for a while.

I'm amazed at some of the stupid stuff that comes out of my mouth. I seriously don't know why I say some of the things that pass between my lips at any given moment. I don't say stupid stuff when I am talking with most people,only some people,and I have no idea why. It may be nerves or an attempt at trying too hard to please or be funny, I'm not witty so I should just stop trying. This whole blog thing may sound like me just complaining about various things.....but this is the stuff that runs through my head on a daily basis. I have dreams,complaints,feelings and thoughts just like every other person.....that still amazes me that other people do in fact have thoughts they never tell anyone, dreams that no one will hear, just like I do. We really aren't that different, not everyone goes through the same experiences but we all at some time or another feel happy,sad or just tired. It's the dream thing that always get's me......everyone wants to be something else in life, everyone has dreams they play over and over in there head on a daily basis. I also think it's kinda funny that the average guy probably thinks about a girl an average of 1 every 10 seconds, that's just a rough estimate but i think it's pretty accurate. I think of all the things we do to people when we don't even know what we are doing, the smallest things can set someone off on some delusinal trip. Giving people the wrong idea happens on a daily basis,and it screws with peoples emotions. There is no worse feeling in the world than feeling for someone when they don't feel back.....just such an empty feeling.Oh well,dinner I'm out.

Song of The Day: Stone Sour- Get Inside
Thought Of The Day: The lion and the witch.

When we are young we want to be old,when we are old we want to be young. We spend our lives wanting to leave home, but feel homesick when we are away. We look down on people who are different as people are looking down on us. We want attention but bitch when we get it. I don't know anymore,I just don't know.

Yeah.....remember when I said to never count out the underdog.....well Rutgers got beat 42-17 so that just about finishes that. Went to a concert last night in Clinton, to see The Demitrios Dogas Experience......what a funny ass show that was. Two guys....a guitar....and an irish penny whistle playing original songs and covers from the Lion King. It might have been one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. It was extremely fun as well, as I got to drive there.....so I was able to leave whenever I wanted to....it was actually the first time I had a passenger and it worked out real well.I also slept over Bob's last night with Milhouse and Jim, it was actually a really fun time. We did some crap,watched some movies and just did more crap. Good time. I don't have really that much else to say as it's a weekend and nothing interesting has happend to me on a weekend.....well almost nothing. I'm outta here,gotta do a bio essay.

Song Of The Day: Silverchair- Across The Night
Thought Of The Day: hi guys