I just really couldn't care anymore about grades,school or trying to impress others. I just got an F on my bio midterm and you know what, good. I am actually glad I failed on something big, it takes so much pressure off my shoulders. I worked hard to get ready for it, worked hard on it, and just failed. I just failed. I never got a horrible grade on a midterm before, and now that I have I am in good company. Over half the class failed, and I am proud to be one of them. There is more to life than grades and completely overloading yourself with knowledge you will not use again. What is high schools purpose, to get us into college, and from college we begin work.......for most of our natural lives. Why not savor our freakin years where we can just be kids. Why is everyone in such a rush to grow up. We act mature but believe me, we are far from it.......we are teens. Live in the now, so you can remember it later........act like yourself and you'll have no trouble. That is where the problem lies. There is no way to be yourself anymore, if you do, the prepare to be ostracized,punished and miserable. If we really all just said what was on our minds, no one would accept us.......because they can't accept themselves. I tried one day to be myself, and got the living shit kicked out of me. That is really going to encourage me to do it again. We no longer have great ideas in our area because anytime we do, they get knocked down. Individuality is just about extinct anymore, and the people choosing a certain style( Punk, Jock....whatever) thinking they are individual are just fooling themselves, they are confoming. I am a hypocrite for pointing this out myself, because I do it just as much as any other person. Why can't everyone just be comfortable in themselves? There is no easy answer, but in my opinion it is mostly due to the fact that people see being themselves as too risky,see how others act, and are scared to be different. No one wants to be alone, no matter how much they may deny it. That is why rebels are so rare now, people willing to be different, to make a difference, stand up and say," I am this way, live with it." They are a dying breed for the sheer fact that people have gotten ridiculously afraid of change. They are afraid there own little bit of life will be disrupted by someone different, and maybe that's exactly what they need......change. Change is a two sided coin, good and bad......but there is no stoping it. Change will happen. I hope to god some change happens pretty soon, because I am tired of holding back anymore. I think some of you feel the same way, so on that note do something about it. Get comfortable with yourself, and then go out and make a damn difference, maybe others will follow. There has to be a rebel eventually.

Thought Of The Day: FUCKIN F BABY!
Song Of The Day: Everclear- So Much For The Afterglow

THE HARD MIDTERMS ARE OVER!WHOOOOOO! I only have Music Theory and Band left. Thank God. I had two very long days already, and I just wanna sit back and watch my Rangers game tonight. I have a good feeling about the future for the first time in a little while, and it feels strangely nice. I just know that eventually everything will work out for the better, and not to stress about everything. I know I will, but I'll try not to overthink things, getting myself worked up about nothing. Some good advice, if you expect nothing you will never be dissapointed, just go along with life and go with the flow. Whatever happens happens, and no one can change that. Shit, this is sounding optimistic.........must be losing my writing style......hehe. Oh well, I'm out.

Thought Of The Day: The topcoats are back and better than ever!
Song of The Day: Bloodhound Gang- I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

You don't want the people you hate to change. It's true, think about it. No matter who you are, you dislike someone or many people. Everyone has to have an opposite, someone who completely annoys you or just disgusts you, it's human nature. If your enemy changes though, you have no reason to hate anymore......you simply have no more enemy......and that will get to you. You need someone to be your foil, someone to just get your blood boiling, if you don't have that, then really what do you have to complain or campaign against. It is like love, if you have no one to love than you are just empty, have no reason to go after anyone or anything. The two major emotions, love and hate, fuel every person to continue going through the day, to keep going. Hate may sound like a bad reason to go after something, but it is true. Intensity is derived from either hate or love, determination is an offshoot of either one of those emotions. This is why you don't want the people you hate to change, because it is comfortable.....you know your enemy. If that changes, then you are twisted into a stage of not knowing what the hell is going on. People do not like change, we are creatures of habit.....we stick to a routine and if it get's disrupted we also get disrupted. It's strange though, people always want to change, but when they do want to go back to the way things used to be. It's like leaving home, people pine to just get the hell out of there hometown and go see the world.....but when they do, they get homesick. They long to be home. To put it bluntly, we don't know what the hell we want, but we keep looking for it. We keep trying to find the perfect life, and you know what.....it's not there. There is no perfect life, there is only life. The search is life, not the finding. If we found it, then where would we be.......we would simply be emotionless creatures........which is why we need to want things. It is why we need to love and hate, it is why we are human. I'm out.

Thought Of The Day: MIDTERMS AHHHHHHHH
Song Of The Day: Metallica- Turn the Page