I will never understand life. It is a mystery that has no answer and people struggle there entire exsistance just to know what it is all about. Why do we live only to die? I don't like to think I was put here for a specific purpose, because I think fate takes away the rights people have......but each decision we make completely changes your path in life. The smallest things can greatly impact your life......because life really is just a series of small events with a few large ones interspliced. I just don't like the idea of having no control over my life......this is my own damn life and I can screw it up any way I want, or make it great any way I want. I have no idea where drive comes from......the need to succeed and get things done. This has always plagued me....how and why people do the things they do. Why one person can have a drive so hard and another be a lazy piece of crap......we are all the same inherntly but we are so damn different. The only thing that seperates each one of us is emotion. Emotion is the undeniable mystery at the core of life. Why do we have to feel? How and why do we feel at all.......emotion can kill you slowly or make life worth living, it just depends on what day it is. Happiness always confused me........I never know why people can be happy when certain events happen, when people are at there worst they can be smiling, they can be happy for the most fucked up reasons. Depression is another killer.......I get depressed when I am bored, or doing too much, or sometimes for no reason at all. It has no rhyme or reason, it doesn't hit you when it should and you never know when the hell it will hit you. People mask there emotions so well though, nobody seems to tell when people even feel this way. Depression is a smile on the outside and downright weeping on the inside.....it hurts your stomach to just feel that way, you feel worthless and almost to the point of never talking again. I can't describe the feeling, but I am sure you have felt it before. In fact, I can't describe any feeling.....it is impossible, but we have all felt them. We are human, we feel.....that is our downfall and our strongest point. The double edged sword of emotion. Who knows.....I am just very confused, but I seem to hide it well.

Song Of The Day: World so Cold- Mudvayne
Thought Of The Day: I'll give you what's for!