Some things can never be explained, no matter how hard you try to reason them out. I have learned this lesson the hard way, and am still learning it to this day. The things people say and the way people act can never be taken as the truth anymore, because even when you don't know it, you are lying to somebody. The promise of false hope may be the worst lie of all, because it isn't meant to hurt.....but always seems to. I don't know weather to give up on hope, or just let hope die on it's own.....I just know that I am alone a lot, and when I am alone I think. Thinking destroys ones own judgement and ones own resolve to actually get up and try anymore, because you play out scenarios in your head......false hope that can only be dragged down. I don't know anymore if I care enough to keep bullshitting people with my false exterior personality, or just let people know how I really feel and what I really think. I believe peoples judgements are entirely too swayed by others, as an entire impression of a person can just be screwed over by one bitter voice in the crowd. We as people like to have enemies, we crave the hate that we feel towards certain people......it is so wrong, but it is true. We are a very judgemental, spiteful people who can't seem to share anything anymore, or even care of others. We are too wrapped up in ourselves to be able to see what is really in front of us, what is really there. We get an impression, we believe it to be true and we base our actions on that impression......not bothering to see what it really is. People are very decieveing, and you cannot always see things for there face value, you have to see what people aren't doing....not what they are doing. There is no way to stop you from judging, but try to see things from all sides before you rush into it. It is the small things in life that truly make up what a person believes in and will become in life......no large actions can ever match the quiet ones. Attention is fleeting, circumstance is not. If you crave attention, you will get it......but you will never truly know what it is like to be able to be someone behind the scenes, who really enjoy what is going on in life. The scenes may change, but it is more important to get it done than to want people to see you get it done. If you fail, it is all the better......then you will truly know what it means to not be decieveing, because a failed man has nothing left to hide or lose in life. That is all I have to say for now. I'm out.