Hockey Idea below, but this is a normal entry. Well not really normal, no entry is really normal here. It's completely insane blabbings of a really screwed up kid, here for your amusement and enlightenment.

I went to a hockey game last night, Rangers vs. Flyers. It was a good game, but it's just too bad the Rangers had to suck in the 2nd and 3rd periods and lose. Hockey isn't the point though of this particular entry though. It was when I was coming home and it was completely dark outside my car and everyone had just gotten silent, even stiffy. I just looked out the window and thought about everything. I know it's impossible to think about everything all at once, but I just about went through it all. I thought about my life, my friends, old friends, people I was close to, people I am close to, what I was going to do with my life......stuff like that. I really really thought about it for a good long while, and I came to this conclusion. We all have no idea what we are doing. No one knows what they are doing, ever. We are feeling around for something that works, and when we find it we want to hold onto it even if it means changing yourself. We all want so badly just to feel good, even for a short time. No pain, no anxiety. Just good. Just to be comfortable. I find humans are the most ridiculous animals I have ever seen. We strive for happiness but feel only to hold ourselves back into sadness, for some reason. We are compelled to not just go and do it, but to hold back and think about it. Sponatneous events are always the best events. Did you ever notice that? You always remember doing something without thinking about it, while all the planned out moments in your head fall by the wayside. Your first impulse is almost always the right impulse. Humans live with there minds and not with there hearts. Logical thinking is never right when it comes to matters of emotion and feeling. You feel with your soul, not with your mind. You just sometimes know something is right without and explination or reason. It just feels right. I can't explain it, but I know you know what I am talking about. It's that time when you just know that everything is right with the world for a split second, and then it's gone. You remember it though, you strive to get back to that place. It's impossible though, it just happens. The best things just happen. I don't know about you, but when I think about some of the happiest times in my life it makes me so sad. I just know that things change, people change and you can never go back to that place again. There will be other memories that you can create, but some memories just refuse to go away. They will stay with you, and you will have to live with them........living knowing that happiness can breed regret and pain........but everyone wants to be happy. It's some kind of cycle that no one can explain, but it's there and it's working on you even now. Now happy memories also can be great, and make you feel happy. Some memories though just hurt so badly, especially if they were really really good memories. I can't explain it, and I don't want to. I just want to get back to that one moment again, so I can go after it again. If this made any sense to you, then congratulations, you are just as insane as I am.......feels good doesn't it. hehe. I'm out.

Thought Of The Day: Wishing Well
Song Of The Day: Don't let me down- The beatles