Vacation.....at last. I need this thing so badly. I just need a week and a half to collect my thoughts and get everything together. Today was so strange, it felt like it was so so long. I had the concerts this morning, then the classes went by so slowly even though they were 20 minutes. I also did something pretty stupid today and told some people some things that I shouldn't have told them. Like I said to a few of you, I was off today......really off. I never act like I did today, I just isolated myself completely from everyone, it felt like freshman year all over again. If you don't know, freshman year I was painfully shy and reserved, I got so nervous just trying to start conversation. That was also the year I started drifting away from my "friends." I have seen a trend in any relationship I ever get into, friend,romantic ,whatever. Every time I just plunge into it unknowingly and completely begin to trust. I truly believed that all people were good,I am completely naive. Every time I got to close to someone......they would just do something that hurt me so deeply that I didn't know how to react. Everytime I get too close to someone,they end up hurting me. That's where the problem lies, I want so badly to get close to some of you but I really fear that the second I do it will all go to crap. I end up avoiding,ignoring and trying to keep my distance from the people I want to get so close to, the people who I know won't hurt me but can't help but think they will. I have other things on my mind, but that is mostly it. If you know what this is like you know how hard it is to keep pushing back the ones you love, it's not a matter of not caring......it's a matter of not getting destroyed emotionally. I don't know, I'm out.

Thought of The Day: When you are lonely, it doesn't matter what the reasons are.....you just know you are alone.
Song Of The Day: Silverchair- Untitled