Have you ever had the feeling that you are just running in circles in life, like things always seem to happen no matter how much you change? Well I'm feeling like that right now. I've changed so much since even last year, I've met new people, I've gotten intellectually smarter, hell I even changed physically.....but emotionally it's all the same. I still always end up feeling acquard around those I don't know, even when they are perfectly nice people. I know I should feel a certain way but I can't seem to feel it, I always end up feeling the opposite. I know what I want in life, but I can't grasp it. I know I'm not the only one that has felt that, far from it, but I'm starting to feel it more and more. I fall into childish habits dealing with emotion, petty anger, jealousy, and being shy. I think the shy thing continues to plague me more than anything. I want to say so many things that would just entirely take a load off my back, but dammit I can't say them. I want to act a certain way, I want to be someone I'm not...... I guess I just have to accept it though, I'm me. I know for the rest of my high school time I will get flastered around a girl I like, or get embarrased when I say something wrong.....but I guess that is ok. No one really is what they want to be, they are just reaching in vain for the person they want to be..."the ideal" person. No one even sees though that to others you are the ideal person, you are absolitely amazing. I wish I could tell people that I know that because it is true, some people are just so amazing and don't even realize it. No one can look in, but try just for a second to see the positive stuff....it's damn hard. We only see negative in ourselves, and it makes us who we are. That's why we can never become "ideal".......we only see the negative. Tommorrow or any day before Christmas I want anyone who reads this to walk up to someone else and just tell them they are amazing, and list positive aspects. It may sound corny, but you know what....I like corny and corny is good. Haha.....I don't even know if any of this made sense.....as always try to get something out of it.....it could help. I'm out.

Thought of the Day: coolbeans
Song of The Day: Ben Folds- Fired