It happens to you

"Elliott Smith once said, "If you grow up with yelling in your house, the last thing you want to do is put yelling in your records"

I have recently acquired a new Ben Folds music/interview cd from iTunes called "iTunes original artist: Ben Folds." It is basically a collection of live tracks, studio tracks and an interview iTunes conducted with Ben sometime recently. The live tracks are pretty fantastic, but the interview is really where the cd becomes special. This is basically the biography of Ben Folds musically and non-musically told by the man himself. The things he has to say about music just impress me so much and what he has to say about life makes me even more impressed. The wisdom of an artist about his craft, it really makes you appreciate his music even more. Just like the Metallica documentary made me appreciate the album St. Anger even more, this interview makes me listen to certain songs in a way I have never heard them before. If you want a copy of this, just tell me and it is yours in a heartbeat.

I went to see my bro on Tuesday into Wednesday and got to stay at his sweet new bachelor pad...ok, I stayed at his new apartment which is not quite a bachelor pad. It was really good to see the big lug, he seems to have his life in order and also seems happy. I also had the honor to take him to his first real concert, the Odd Men Out Tour featuring Ben Lee, Rufus Wainwright and Ben Folds. I must say, Ben Lee impressed me so much with his sound...his full band really filled it out. Plus, he was cool enough to go out and meet fans after his set near the merch table...he seemed like such a cool guy overall. Rufus was a bit boring but ok, he also had a full band which caught me off guard. I liked him more this time than the first time I saw him in Philly. When Ben Folds came on, the crowd was strangely subdued and it kind of annoyed me...they just didn't seem into it at all. Ben put on a very good set, even busting out Lullabye in his solo section and I saw his kids and wife hanging out near the soundboard...so of course he played still fighting it. The encore was only one song, but overall I was really happy about the show and my bro seemed very into it the entire time, so it was a great experience.

I am getting bored with my job to the point of doing strange jobs rarely done just to shake it up a bit. I am just tired of cleaning bathrooms, mowing grass and weedwhacking...so I have been polishing metal, painting things and been going to the campgrounds much more than usual. This kind of repetitive work is something I want to avoid when I get my degree and get my actual job. To find a job that makes you happy is a goal of mine, I don't want to end up doing something everyday that makes me miserable. This is a true fear of mine though, ending up unhappy at what I do for a living. I am not even sure if the major I have chosen is right for me, but I really can't even think of anything else I want to do with my life. Is it a case of being lazy or a case of just being absolutely clueless about what interests me...who really knows. I know what I love but I could never find a career in it, no matter how hard I tried. I just have to find something that moves me I guess, if that ever happens. It may not happen though, I may have to settle for less to live comfortably...it is funny how much we settle in life. We may not know what we want, but we know it isn't what we settle for. For fear of failure, being alone, risking our comfortable existances...we settle for less when we could strive for more. I fear sometimes being alone for my entire life, but settling with that can only lead to pain and more self doubt. It goes the same with getting a job...you can only hold out for so long but you have to try to find something that fufills your life. Nothing will be a cure all, but many elements of your life have to be good for your whole life to be good. If you are unhappy in your work and in love, then for the most part you will be an unhappy person. Your job take up half of your day...your home life the other half, it only makes sense. Then again, I may be totally forgoing my mouth and talking out of my ass again. Whatever the case, I am hungry...so I am off to grab some grub.

Song of the Day: Cigarettes Will Kill You- Ben Lee