The past just doesn't want to let go of it's stranglehold on me. How to explain something that no words can ever express, it is impossible. I am so futile in life, I have no way to direct my path or to even control what goes on around me. Things happen, and I can't do a damn thing about them. I fucking hate the way this feels, the continuing drain of emotion again and again. With every occurance it get's worse and worse, it get's harder to get back up again. you know what, I think I am to tired to even continue this, so I am just going to sit in my bed and listen to music over and over.